No, TikTok Doesn’t Need to Know About Your Divorce

 Posted on April 10, 2024 in Uncategorized

Social media is a wonderful tool for us to share important life events with friends, family, and strangers. It allows us to connect to loved ones and celebrate milestones when we can't be together in person.

One life event I advise my clients not to share on social media is divorce. There's almost no upside and considerable downside to advertising the end of your marriage on TikTok, Instagram, or any other social media platform. Liberating as it can be to celebrate the end of a relationship, keep those celebrations private and offline.

Yes, Social Media is Admissible Evidence

Videos about divorce have been popular on TikTok since at least 2019. Before TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms all had their moment of being the go-to place for life announcements.

One change is that, as a video platform, the context of videos shared on TikTok can be harder to hide. The written word or a single photo may be misconstrued, but a video can be harder to dismiss.

Posting on social media can feel like a form of therapy, of sharing our journey with the world. The problem with divorce is that there are two people involved, and one person's journey documented via TikTok may trigger arguments with a former partner.

There's a difference between posting in frustration because you got bumped off a flight versus annoyance with the divorce process or why your ex is a jerk. The latter is more personal, and those posts not only risk angering your ex, but they can be detrimental to your divorce case.

Keep in mind that, while divorce is personal, it's still a legal process. And like any legal process, you should limit what you share online. A few hundred likes are nice, but it's not worth your former spouse introducing a TikTok video as evidence against you.

Craft Your Celebrity Press Statement

For those with a wider social network, using social media to announce the end of a relationship can be easier than telling people individually. The key is to keep it short, generic, and neutral.

If you do want to inform your wider circle about your divorce, take a page from celebrity PR and craft the most general possible statement. Former Chicago Bears Quarterback Jay Cutler and his then-wife Kristin Cavallari used Instagram to announce their divorce.

As The Cut points out, copying celebrity divorce statements is increasingly popular. Most follow a generic template:

• We're separating
• We wish each other well
• Please give our family privacy as we navigate our new normal

For those with kids, keep in mind that the Internet is forever. Avoid posts that insult your child's other parent or may be embarrassing for you and your child once the emotion from a divorce cools.

If you do continue to post on social media, Psychology Today recommends staying positive, avoiding any mention of your divorce, and increasing your privacy settings.

Vent IRL

Divorce, even an amicable divorce, can be stressful and emotional. Most people going through a divorce need an outlet. Avoid having that outlet be TikTok or other social media platforms. Chat privately with trusted friends and family. Relieve stress with a hobby that isn't social media.

Posting on social media risks creating problems with your ex or hurting your case. Sure, it's great to have a bunch of people online cheering for you, but most judges won't factor in number of hits when ruling on a divorce.

Anne O'Connell assists individuals in Cook and Lake Counties with navigating the divorce process. I know the area and have deep connections with the legal community in the Chicago suburbs.

I help my clients understand their options and encourage collaborative, civil proceedings even as I protect my client's rights and future. Contact us online or at 847-859-6222.